Thursday, April 19, 2007

Foreword

FOREWORD



THIS book would not have been possible without the grace of the Almighty God manifested through the experience of one dying man. Everything recorded in this book took place in 1998, in the midst of an economic recession that hit the nation.

The man in this book is none other than the man whom I call `Father’. Ng Lay Geok, 66, went home to be with the Lord on October 10, 1998 – most importantly, he left behind a legacy that we will all cherish for a long time to come.

As he was facing the imminence of death, he made the most important decision of all – the decision to take Jesus as his personal Saviour.

I challenge my readers to make the same decision as we move into the new millennium!



STEPHEN NG
ejng@pc.jaring.my
18th January, 1999

Chapter Eleven - Over To You

APPENDIX ONE


OVER TO YOU


For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Peter, and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep. (1 Corinthians 15:3-6)



THE DECISION is yours. No one can force you to become a Christian. God has given you a freedom of choice – a willpower to choose whom you would believe. Like my father, you can pray to invite Jesus as your personal Saviour right away instead of waiting until the very last hour of your life. You might never enjoy the same grace that my own father experienced in his eleventh hour.



INVITATION TO RECEIVE JESUS AS YOUR PERSONAL SAVIOUR


Dear Lord,
Thank You for dying for me on the Cross. I know that every drop of blood that You shed on Calvary was for me. Every drop of blood is a symbol of God’s eternal love for me – a sinner! Yes, Lord, I acknowledge that I am a sinner. Please let this blood of Yours wash away the guilt of all my sins. I hereby receive You as my personal Lord and Saviour. I believe that You rose from the grave and I now receive this gift of everlasting life in Your name.
Amen.

Chapter Ten - God Loved My Father

CHAPTER TEN



GOD LOVED MY FATHER


God loved my father -- and He has given him the most precious gift of life in the hereafter. If God was able to put life into a little new born baby, God is able also to raise us from the dead.


BELIEVING IN CHRIST, as someone puts it – there is nothing to lose but everything to gain. Life, as my father put it, is precious. No amount of money can buy it. But, when God gives us life everlasting, not on the basis of our good works but because of His abundant grace and mercy, we have everything to win both in this life and in the life to come. There is light at the end of the tunnel. The endless love of God will accomplish all His purposes for mankind.

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.
How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men
find refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast in the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.

PSALM 36: 5 - 9



His Faith Sure as Rock

Father had confessed Christ as his personal Saviour on several occasions. The most convincing part was on Monday, October 5 where he prayed on his own accord: "My heart, Jesus, come in." Even as he had prayed the sinner's prayer when I first led him, he had personally become a child of God. Jesus said in John 6: 37: "All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away." It is very clear that anyone who has personally accepted Christ as his personal Saviour will not be lost forever. Jesus will always seek out those sheep that went astray. None of his sheep will be lost.

" I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me – just as the Father knows me and I know the Father – and I lay down my life for the sheep. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. " (JOHN 10:14-17)

" What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in Heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost. "
(MATTHEW 18:12-14)


What About Us?
Like my father, who was saved in his last days, many of us need to ask ourselves:

What is the meaning of life?

What is the use of having lots of money when our health is failing us?

Do we have the assurance of a place in Heaven should we die tomorrow?

On what basis is this assurance that we have?

On the basis of good works which must overweigh our wicked thoughts
and actions?

Or, is it on the basis of God's grace and mercy for all mankind?

To save us, God had to send Jesus to be nailed to the Cross. His blood was shed for the forgiveness of our sins, so that we may be cross over to the right side of the ravine – on God's side, – instead of being cast into the lake of fire. Yes, every drop of blood that Jesus shed on the Cross of Calvary was indeed a symbol of God's eternal love for all mankind – that is, for you and me.

God loved my father – and He has given him the most precious gift of life in the hereafter. If God was able to put life into a little new born baby, God is able also to raise us from the dead. Death for my father was just a passage into the kingdom of Heaven. He found the Shepherd of Love while walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Jesus held his hands for more than three days, even as he was waiting anxiously to see all his relatives and family members. The Bible assures us that when Father finally breathed his last, his entrance into the kingdom of God was joyously welcomed by myriads of angels. There is truly rejoicing in heaven over one soul who repented. As a son, I wanted my father to have the best – and this was the best that I could offer him before he passed away. The gift of life. The knowledge of salvation. The love of God. Indeed, GOD LOVED MY FATHER!

Chapter Nine - Last Respect

Chapter Nine



LAST RESPECT


“Sorry,” I said. “I cannot partake of your rituals. I love my father and he knows that I love him. That’s more important! Not what I show to people.”





THE FUNERAL went on the traditional Taoist way. Pastor Law who was convinced that Father had truly accepted Christ had offered to standby should we choose to carry out the funeral in the church. However, he assured me that what was left behind was only an empty shell – basically a lifeless corpse.

“Let your family follow their own customs since they insist on it,” Pastor Law had supported my decision. “The most important thing is that on the basis of his confession of faith in Christ, your father is now saved and in Heaven with the Lord.”


Peaceful Composure

When Pastor Law Chee Wah and Mrs Law paid their last respect the following day, Pastor Law remarked: "He went away peacefully." The same was echoed by Koo-poh, an old lady who had earlier witnessed to him in the hospital. Mother's own observation: "He appeared like he has just gone to sleep." His left eye was opened slightly, as if he was looking a distance into the future. Part of his lower lip was dry. His lips were partially separated, showing slightly the lower part of his front teeth. That gave him the look of a smiling gentleman. Father had the look of a perfect gentleman from China with his traditional Chinese funeral clothes.

Father was to be cremated on Monday morning of October 12. On Sunday night, the monks came and started the all-night chanting. My sisters followed through the rites. My cousin brother, Vincent, represented me in the ceremony, while I was sitting around with my relatives and friends.

There were some backmouthing around, as friends and relatives judged my actions as being disrespectful of the dead. I had earlier said that there were things that I would follow, and there were things that knowingly, I would refuse to follow. I had put on my white T-shirt and a pair of black trousers. I was wearing a little sackcloth on my left arm. Those were clearly my sincere sign of mourning and deep respect for my father’s demise.

In my heart, I felt the peace of God knowing that Father was now in Heaven. He did not have to be prayed to. We did not have to burn all those paper houses and cars and servants. In Heaven, he now has everything that he needs.

“There is nothing lacking in Heaven,” I reassured my relatives.

Some relatives were trying to advise me to follow through the religious rites. I firmly refused on the basis that the rituals were not honouring to God.

“Sorry,” I said. “I cannot partake of your rituals. I love my father and he knows that I love him. That’s more important! Not what I show to people.”

Thankfully, there were no quarrels that resulted from all these pressures as I had firmly told my family members that I would not bow to pressures. Mother was right when she later said: "When the person is still alive, love and respect is meaningful. Once he is gone, whatever you want to do is meaningless. It's all done for others to see." She was right!

After the funeral was over, she was left with a hefty bill of some RM15,000! The bills were all taken care of by the gifts of condolence from friends and relatives and I believe some part of it was also borne by my sister, who had paid for the medical bill.

The Testimony

Relatives and friends came over to pay their last respect. I had a copy of the "Path to Victory" New Testament, which I gave to Father, while he was still in the hospital. On it, I wrote, from the bottom of my heart:

"Father,
IN MEMORY OF YOU
You would have read this New Testament yourself had you become better. Nevertheless, it was not God's will, as I explained to you that He has a different plan for different people.
Some He heals; others, He gives a completely new body. You yourself know this when you said in your pain, "How long do I have to wait?"


When the doctor first told me that you have only a short time to go, I asked God, "WHY?" Why should this happen to you? His reply was very clear: "For His sake and for my sake."

For His sake - to show the greatness of His power. For my sake - so that I may get closer to you, to touch you, to show you once again my love for you that has always been in my heart.

Now, that you have gone to be with the Lord in paradise on this chosen day of October 10, 1998, I thank you for leaving behind your last words which I still find hard to believe my ears:
"YOU ALL MUST LOVE JESUS!" "


The New Testament was placed on the coffin. It was only removed on the morning of the funeral before the coffin was placed into the hearse. I did not want to burn the New Testament away with the coffin, but kept it aside as a memorial of my father. Godwilling, it will be kept away nicely for a long time.

The coffin was opened for the last time in order that his immediate family members could pay their last respect. I stood there, weeping aloud. I had been crying every now and then, whenever the thought of missing my father crossed my mind. It was hard to contain the tears. For a long time, I had never cried as loud as that. It was painful to lose my father here on earth, although I knew that he was already in paradise with his God. While the rest of the family members felt it was a taboo, I took the opportunity to touch his cheek for the last time. He looked so peaceful.

Rest In Peace


Before the coffin was placed into the hearse, my family members had to follow through the rites again. I stood by the side to have my last look at the coffin. I volunteered to carry the coffin. When the hearse moved forward, we followed closely. It may be another taboo again, but my right hand was on the coffin all the time as the hearse moved forward. I could not control myself emotionally. I cried very loud, calling him: "Father!" Deep down in my heart, I knew I would miss him very much. He would not be there anymore. He was gone – forever, -- until the day we meet face-to-face in Heaven.

I placed my niece, Li Lian's hand on the coffin as well, alongside with mine. She was also crying. My sister, Su Lin was also crying very loudly. All of us, including the other two sisters, Susie and Su Li were unable to control our tears. Susie’s fiance, Rainer Putz, joined in the procession.

The moment the hearse reached the main entrance of Taman Kepong, we were all asked to turn on our back to let the hearse move forward. I chose not to turn mine, but with tears in my eyes, I waved goodbye to my father. I knew I had loved him while taking care of him.

It was a quiet, beautiful Monday morning, when the funeral took place. It had poured heavily on Saturday past midnight, but the weather was good throughout Sunday and Monday. The moment the hearse arrived at the City Hall crematorium at Jalan Kuari in Cheras, we lifted down the coffin and placed it at the centre stage. The rites went on as usual, while I was seated down with my relatives, after feeling exhausted from crying. The coffin was mechanically lowered down, where it was to be placed into the furnace.

We went downstairs to see the coffin moving towards the furnace. The gate of the furnace was opened and the coffin was pushed in. Just at that moment, I read from 1 Thessalonians 4: 13-18:

"Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words."

Auntie Martina and Auntie Susan stood by me, while the rest of the family members and relatives had moved on to the hall. After I had completed reading that passage, Auntie Martina immediately prayed:

"Dear Lord, I commit my brother into your bosom. Thank you for saving him during his last moments. We thank you for welcoming him into the kingdom of Heaven. Amen."

She later shared that she had some doubts about my father's destiny. That Monday night, after attending the funeral and going back to school to teach, she still made it to her church despite feeling exhausted. The speaker for the night spoke about the destiny of souls who died. When she approached the speaker after the message to ask about her brother, the pastor replied: "As long as the person has prayed the sinner's prayer, he will not be lost in hell. God will keep his soul in His bosom." Father had knowingly prayed the sinner’s prayer on September 27 and later, in one of his night visions, invited Jesus into his heart. There were several other people who talked to him, and they confirmed my conclusion: Father knew what he had done when he prayed to accept Jesus as his personal Saviour.

ON TUESDAY morning, we went back to the crematorium to collect the ashes to be placed in an urn. A slightly shiny jaded urn was picked to contain the ashes.

By 9.30am, we were already on our way to Semenyih, where Father's ashes were to be placed there. My youngest sister, Su Li had the chance to carry the urn all the way on an hour’s trip there.

By 10.40am, the urn was placed into a little pigeon-hole, built after the concept of a condominium or an apartment for the dead. It was bought for RM7,000. Mother had only bought the pigeon hole two days earlier to keep the urn. She had bought another one for herself just beside his. When the rest of the family members had paid their last respect with joss sticks and offerings, I paid my last respect to Father with a moment of silence as his ashes were laid to rest in peace.

Chapter Eight - The Eleventh Hour

CHAPTER EIGHT



THE ELEVENTH HOUR



“Going home means the oxygen supply would have to be pulled off," I told Father. "And, you would not live very long after that. Do you still want to go home?" He nodded his head once again.


THE WISH of a dying man has always been to meet his own family members for the very last time. Father managed to meet all his relatives on the night before he passed away. He had kept on asking about Friday night of October 9. It was my cousin's wedding.

None of us understood why, until Friday night came and things became very clear to me only the moment Auntie Irene from Tampin stepped into the hospital ward.

“That’s it! This is the very moment that Father has been waiting for,” I thought.

Father knew all along that the wedding was the only best occasion where he could meet his relatives all at the same time. There could not have been any better time for all his relatives to congregate around him.

Immediately after the wedding dinner, his family members rushed to visit him at the hospital. It was already nearly 11pm. They were crowding around his death bed.

The moment Auntie Martina stepped into the hospital room, she immediately held her brother’s hand. “Praise the Lord! Would you like me to pray for you?"

Father nodded his head in silent agreement and held out his hand to Auntie Martina, who started to pray for Father in the midst of all the relatives. He had a serene look in his face.

As soon as that was over, I got each of the Aunties to shake his hands beginning from the eldest, Auntie Kim Lean, followed by Auntie Kim Poh, Auntie Kim Tin, Auntie Kim Tkwee, Auntie Irene, and finally, the youngest, Auntie Martina.

I went through the names of his brothers one by one as I did with his sisters. The eldest, Thye Er, being Auntie Angeline's husband, had passed away a long time ago. Father was the second in his family. The third, Uncle Kim Hye was in Australia and he had just written an email to say that he hoped to visit Malaysia very soon. Uncle Kim Seng, the fourth, was now in California. The fifth, Uncle Kim Hock and the youngest, Uncle Johnny were both in Melbourne and they had also sent their regards. Only Uncle Billy, being the sixth in the family, was present that night. Finally, the in-laws and the nieces and nephews also had the chance to hold his hand for the last time.

Father could hardly utter a word by now. All he could do at this point was to gesture goodbye to all his relatives when they finally left at about 12 midnight.

* * *


THAT NIGHT Uncle Billy and I stayed overnight at the hospital with him. I went to sleep for nearly two hours. When I woke up at 2 o'clock in the morning, I noticed something amiss with Father's condition.

He had by now fallen into a coma. His eyes could hardly move. They were staring straight to his right, as if looking at someone standing by his side. I kept wetting his lips with water, which were already very dry by now. All that he could say was, "Hot!" Occasionally, he could still swallow some water.

I kept ministering to him as I hummed the two songs, "Shepherd of Love" and "What A Friend We Have In Jesus." With my index finger, I continued to reassure him as I wrote on his chest words like "Jesus loves you" and "Joy in Heaven." It was the word "Joy" that he seemed to respond very well. I later repeated it aloud to him minutes before he passed away. He knew that was what he was expecting in the life hereafter.

The Eleventh Hour

By 9 o'clock in the morning, all my family members had arrived at the hospital. Before long, there was a debate over the question of whether to bring him back home or not.

Initially, I objected. "Earlier, I had suggested to bring him back, but you all objected," I said. A friend of mine had volunteered to help look after him right after his examinations.

"Now, with his condition like that, it would only mean sending him off earlier," I continued. "The moment the oxygen supply is taken off, he would not survive even an hour."

"And, the fact that he has heart problem, no one knows if he could even survive a heart attack while being ferried home," I reasoned.

Realising that my family members were adamant about their decision, I finally suggested: "Let us ask him. That's the best. If he wants to go home, he will let us know."

Mother spoke to him. “If you want to go home, raise your hand. We will take you home,” she said.

He was probably too weak by now to even lift up his hand.

Then, I asked Mother to put forward the question again, this time asking him to nod his head. He nodded, in agreement.

Once more, I asked Mother to ask. He nodded his head. Then, I personally explained to him the consequence of going home. "Going home means the oxygen supply would have to be pulled off," I said. "And, you would not live very long after that. Do you still want to go home?"

He nodded his head once again. Assured of his response, I gave the greenlight to my eldest sister, Su Lin who immediately arranged for an ambulance to ferry Father back to the family home in Kepong. The rest of the family members and relatives were contacted to prepare everything at home before the arrival of the ambulance. A bed was prepared in advance to welcome Father. By now, the burial clothes were already bought for him, according to Chinese traditional rites. Su Lin had earlier gone to buy them in the morning, realising that Father was not going to live very long.

My final words of comfort to Father caused a little stir in the family.

“Yes, you will get a new body in Heaven,” I told him in the presence of Auntie Yin, who was with us in the ward. “Don’t worry. You only need to continue to trust in Jesus. Do wait for me in Heaven when you get there.”

“Remember that you asked earlier in your pain, whether Jesus will hold your hands for three days. He has. Indeed, even more than three days. He is faithful,” I continued to reassure him.

Deciding on Funeral Rites

I made it clear to my relatives by now that Father had accepted Christ as his personal Saviour. I did not choose to reveal it earlier on so as not to create a stir in the family. I had wanted for Father to reveal it himself to the rest of the family.

One thing was however clear to me by now: Father had made his own decision to take Jesus as his personal Saviour. It was not a coerced decision. I wanted him to make his own public confession. He did just that when he said his last words to his family members: "You all must love Jesus." There was also evidence that he had felt the power of love when he confessed and brought healing to my mother, through those magical words : "I LOVE (YOU)". A confession of love that was never uttered all through their married life together.

Meanwhile, my family members were debating whether to proceed with their funeral rites since they learnt that he had become a Christian. I had to be very direct, since they had decided they would follow their own funeral rites: "If you agree, being the only son, I am prepared to take up the funeral. My church pastor is willing to conduct the funeral service since he was satisfied that Father has truly believed in Jesus as his personal Saviour. But, if you wish to proceed with your funeral rites, know this fact that what is left behind is only the shell. The soul is already in heaven, once he is gone. You can do whatever you want to the body. But, do not force me to follow your rites. And, if I refuse to follow your rites, no one has the right to ostracize. You know I love my father. You know I respect him and I have taken care of him all the while."

All these two weeks, I had been taking care of Father practically every night. My family members knew for a fact that it was my love for my father that had been clearly demonstrated. It is the power of love that silenced every mouth at the end of the day. Even those who tried to dissuade others from believing in the Gospel of Jesus Christ could not utter a word of contempt or accused me of not being filial. They knew the extent of my love for my father. God loved my father. And, I loved him, too.

Ticking by the Minutes

1.30pm – we were already wheeling him down to the ambulance room. Before going into the ambulance, I called out to Mother: "See, his eyes are moving right now!"

I was supposed to lead the ambulance, but instead, I was caught in the traffic jam. The ambulance, weaving through the traffic jam, arrived a few minutes earlier than me. By the time I parked the car in front of the house, Father was already in the house by 2.15pm.

By now, most of the relatives had arrived. Some of the aunties had stayed on after my cousin, Agnes' wedding, because they knew that Father did not have very long to live. They were all waiting in my family home. A little commotion began when the ambulance attendants wanted to leave. We were left without an option: the oxygen supply had to be removed.

“Can’t we just give him a bit more time to settle down?” I protested. “Or, at least, to wait till my youngest sister, Su Li is back home.” She was caught in a massive traffic jam along Jalan Kuching caused by some public demonstrations in the city.

“We can’t wait too long,” the attendants told us. “We have to go back to the hospital. We have other jobs to attend to.”

I had no choice but, being the only son, I reluctantly removed his oxygen supply. I kept reminding Father that, when he goes, he would be given a completely new body.

“Continue to trust in the Lord and not worry about this old body of yours. You will have a new body in Heaven. There is joy in Heaven,” I reminded him again. “Will you wait for me there?”

Father was slowly losing his ability to breathe normally by the time the oxygen supply was removed at about 2.30pm.

“Quick! You have to change over to the burial clothes,” a relative immediately instructed the family members. Father had earlier put on a light blue pyjamas, as part of the traditional Chinese belief that a dying man must not go naked. When I later searched the Scriptures, I found this passage, which spoke of a different kind of nakedness:-

"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." (2 CORINTHIANS 5:1-5)

His Last Breath

We had to move Father side ways to change his clothes. His immediate family members, including my brother-in-law, Victor, helped to change the clothes. In the process, at 2.45pm, he inhaled his last breath. He went away peacefully, knowing the greatest miracle of all – the miracle of the blood of the Lamb that was shed on the Cross of Calvary – which provides the only Cure for the curse of sin.

He wanted to die at home and now he had gone home to be with the Lord in paradise, as a fourteen-day old born-again believer. One who had only learnt the meaning of God's love and His forgiveness, which is given freely to all mankind on the basis of what Jesus had done on the Cross. The night before he passed away, I wrote on his chest the title of the book that I promised him that I would write in his honour.

The demise of my father happened so suddenly, but we had all the while anticipated it as we saw that his condition was deteriorating fast. I believe he finally came to know about his condition, when on the final Saturday morning, I had freely discussed with the doctor about his lung and possibly colon cancer, which we suspected had also spread to the brain as well. He was in a coma, but like most cases in a coma, I believe he must have overheard the conversation taking place right beside his hospital bed. By now, I believe, he had also anticipated that he would be dying soon.

Father passed away at 2.45pm on October 10, 1998.


THE FUNERAL went on the traditional Taoist way. Pastor Law who was convinced that Father had truly accepted Christ had offered to standby should we choose to carry out the funeral in the church. However, he assured me that what was left behind was only an empty shell -- basically a lifeless corpse.

“Let your family follow their own customs since they insist on it,” Pastor Law had supported my decision. “The most important is that on the basis of his confession of faith in Christ, your father is now saved and in Heaven with the Lord.”

When Pastor Law Chee Wah and Mrs Law paid their last respect the following day, Pastor Law remarked: "He went away peacefully." The same was echoed by Koo-poh, an old lady who had earlier witnessed to him in the hospital. Mother's own observation: "He appeared like he has just gone to sleep." His left eye was opened slightly, as if he was looking a distance into the future. Part of his lower lip was dry. His lips were partially separated, showing slightly the lower part of his front teeth. That gave him the look of a smiling gentleman. Father had the look of a perfect gentleman from China.

Father was to be cremated on Monday morning of October 12. On Sunday night, the monks came and started the all-night chanting. My sisters followed through the rites. My cousin brother, Vincent, represented me in the ceremony, while I was sitting around with my relatives and friends.

There were some backmouthing around, as friends and relatives judged my actions as being disrespectful of the dead. I had earlier said that there were things that I would follow, and there were things that knowingly, I would refuse to follow. I had put on my white T-shirt and a pair of black trousers. I was wearing a little sackcloth on my left arm. Those were clearly my sincere sign of mourning and deep respect for my father’s demise.

In my heart, I felt the peace of God knowing that Father was now in Heaven. He did not have to be prayed to. He did not have to receive all those paper houses and cars and servants. In Heaven, he now has everything that he needs.

“There is nothing lacking in Heaven,” I reassured my relatives.

Some relatives were trying to advise me to follow through the religious rites. I firmly refused on the basis that the rituals were not honouring to God.

“Sorry,” I said. “I cannot partake of your rituals. I love my father and he knows that I love him. That’s more important! Not what I show to people.”

Thankfully, there were no quarrels that resulted from all these pressures as I had firmly told my family members that I would not bow to pressures. Mother was right when she later said: "When the person is still alive, love and respect is meaningful. Once he is gone, whatever you want to do is meaningless. It's all done for others to see. That's all!"

She was left with a hefty bill of some RM15,000 after that! The bills were all taken care of by the gifts of condolence from friends and relatives and I believe some part of it was also borne by my sister, who had paid for the medical bill.

The Testimony
Relatives and friends came over to pay their last respect. I had a copy of the "Path to Victory" New Testament, which I gave to Father, while he was still in the hospital. On it, I wrote, from the bottom of my heart:

"Father,
IN MEMORY OF YOU
You would have read this New Testament yourself had you become better. Nevertheless, it was not God's will, as I explained to you that He has a different plan for different people.
Some He heals; others, He gives a completely new body. You yourself know this when you said in your pain, "How long do I have to wait?"
When the doctor first told me that you have only a short time to go, I asked God, "WHY?" Why should this happen to you? His reply was very clear: "For His sake and for my sake."
For His sake - to show the greatness of His power. For my sake - so that I may get closer to you, to touch you, to show you once again my love for you that has always been in my heart.
Now, that you have gone to be with the Lord in paradise on this chosen day of October 10, 1998, I thank you for leaving behind your last words which I still find hard to believe my ears:
"YOU ALL MUST LOVE JESUS!" "

The New Testament was placed on the coffin. It was only removed on the morning of the funeral before the coffin was placed into the hearse. I did not want to burn the New Testament away, but kept it aside as a memorial of my father. Godwilling, it will be kept away nicely for a long time.

The coffin was opened for the last time in order that family members could pay their last respect. I stood there, weeping aloud. I had been crying every now and then, whenever the thought of missing my father crossed my mind. It was hard to contain the tears. For a long time, I had never cried as loud as that. It was painful to lose my father here on earth, although I knew that he was already in paradise with his God. While the rest of the family members felt it was a taboo, I took the opportunity to touch his cheek for the last time. He looked so peaceful.

Rest In Peace

Before the coffin was placed into the hearse, my family members had to follow through the rites again. I stood by the side to have my last look at the coffin. I volunteered to carry the coffin. When the hearse moved forward, we followed closely. It may be another taboo again, but my right hand was on the coffin all the time as the hearse moved forward. I could not control myself emotionally. I cried very loud, calling him: "Father!" Deep down in my heart, I knew I would miss him very much. He would not be there anymore. He was gone - forever, - until the day we meet face to face in Heaven.

I placed my niece, Lilian's hand on the coffin as well, alongside with mine. She was also crying. My sister, Su Lin was also crying very loudly. All of us, including the other two sisters, Susie and Su Li were unable to control our tears.

The moment the hearse reached the main entrance of Taman Kepong, we were all asked to turn on our back to let the hearse move forward. I chose not to turn mine, but with tears in my eyes, I waved goodbye to my father. I knew I had loved him while taking care of him.

It was a quiet, beautiful Monday morning, when the funeral took place. It had poured heavily on Saturday past midnight, but the weather was good throughout Sunday and Monday. The moment the hearse arrived at the City Hall crematorium at Jalan Kuari in Cheras, we lifted down the coffin and placed it at the centre stage. The rites went on as usual, while I was seated down with my relatives, after feeling exhausted from crying. The coffin was mechanically lowered down, where it was to be placed into the furnace.

We went downstairs to see the coffin moving towards the furnace. The gate of the furnace was opened and the coffin was pushed in. Just at that moment, I read from 1 Thessalonians 4: 13-18:

"Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words."

Auntie Martina and Auntie Susan stood by me, while the rest of the family members and relatives had moved on to the hall. After I had completed reading that passage, Auntie Martina immediately prayed:

"Dear Lord, I commit my brother into your bosom. Thank you for saving him during his last moments. We thank you for welcoming him into the kingdom of Heaven. Amen."

She later shared that she had some doubts about my father's destiny. That Monday night, after attending the funeral and going back to school to teach, she still made it to her church despite feeling exhausted. The speaker for the night spoke about the destiny of souls who died. When she approached the speaker after the message to ask about her brother, the pastor replied: "As long as the person has prayed the sinner's prayer, he will not be lost in hell. God will keep his soul in His bosom." Father had knowingly prayed the sinner’s prayer on September 27 and later, in one of his night visions, invited Jesus into his heart. There were several other people who talked to him, and they confirmed my conclusion: Father knew what he had done when he prayed to accept Jesus as his personal Saviour.

ON TUESDAY morning, we went back to the crematorium to collect the ashes to be placed in an urn. A slightly shiny jaded urn was picked to contain the ashes.

By 9.30am, we were already on our way to Semenyih, where Father's ashes were to be placed there. My youngest sister, Su Li had the chance to carry the urn all the way on the trip there.

By 10.40am, the urn was placed into a little pigeon-hole, built after the concept of a condominium or an apartment for the dead. It was bought for RM7,000. Mother had only bought the pigeon hole two days earlier to keep the urn. She had bought another one for herself just beside his. When the rest of the family members had paid their last respect with joss sticks and offerings, I paid my last respect to Father with a moment of silence as his ashes were laid to rest in peace.

Chapter Seven - His Last Words

CHAPTER SEVEN



HIS LAST WORDS



"One Two, Three, Four." He continued several times, before saying: "One happy family. I am happy."



CAME FRIDAY EVENING, he was already gasping for breath. I received a call from my Auntie Yin on the handphone as I was approaching the hospital. I had gone home to take my shower. By the time I rushed to the ward, his condition had already turned bad. He was literally gasping for breath and fighting for his life. Mother, my younger sister Su Li, Uncle Billy and his wife, Auntie Yin were all at the ward.

By 8.00pm, Uncle Billy noticed that his condition was becoming worse. I immediately tried to contact my elder sister Su Lin and her husband, Victor and another sister, Susie, who were still at my cousin's wedding. For nearly 20 minutes we tried calling their handphones. None of them could be reached!

Frustrated, I finally contacted Concorde Hotel, where the dinner was held and left a message for the sisters to rush over to the hospital. They arrived some half-an-hour later. Susie, Su Lin, Victor, Li Lian, Mother, Uncle Billy and Auntie Yin, and I were by his bedside to comfort him.

As he sat up, Father started counting, "One, Two, Three, Four" and repeating himself over and over again. "One Two, Three, Four." He continued several times, before saying: "One happy family. I am happy."

It became clear to me that Father was bringing healing to the family in his final one night before he passed away. The night before, he had said something that really hurt my mother. He counted up to four, basically to reassure the family that there were four of us, his children by his side. One happy family, that is, and that he was happy. He even assured Mother that he loved her.

Each of us spoke to him one at a time. Victor told him that he would look after the family. He did not need to worry anything. Su Lin promised that she would also look after the family. Then, she called for Susie and Su Li by name. Susie re-assured him that she would be getting married the following year. Su Li also re-assured him that she was big enough to look after herself.

Father then called for Li Lian, who was by now, shedding tears. "I promise to study hard," she told her Grandfather. Li Lian was the apple of his eye. Being the eldest granddaughter, Li Lian was being taken care of when she was younger by my father. The other two twin nieces, Li Von and Li Sa were too young to be allowed in the ward of a dying man.

My name was the last to be called. I told him: "Father, you do not need to worry. I will get married soon, when the time comes. Remember, you will have one more grand daughter and one grandson. You must wait for me in Heaven." He had earlier asked why I wasn't planning to settle down yet. In my heart, I knew he was eagerly waiting for his own grandson, to carry his family name. I had earlier told him that God had promised me a daughter and a son.

Then, he called out for Mother. "Mummy," he said, extending his hand over to my mother who was standing a little distance away. I put both their hands together. For one reason or another, he started saying: "I.......LOVE ........" He paused for quite a long time. Uncle Billy, who was on the other side of the bed asked him: "What do you want to say, say-lah!"

"Her," was his final word, before he took a deeper breath.

For the first time in their 43 years of marriage, Father reassured Mother: "I love you."

He was unable to say it directly to her, knowing that she was the kind who would immediately dismiss any such suggestion of love. Being Asian, Father could only say to a third party, "I love her." Nevertheless, those few words were enough to bring healing to the family.

Father started counting again. "One, Two, Three, Four." He repeated his count before saying: "You....... all......must...... love.......Jesus." He went silent right after that. I could hardly believe my ears when I heard it. Father was making a full confession of his faith for the first time to his family members. He had left behind a legacy that would live on forever.

"YOU ALL MUST LOVE JESUS!"

He already knew the power of God's love when Jesus went to the Cross to die for his sins. He now wanted his children and family members to love Jesus. It was a decision that Father made about Christ some two weeks earlier that I was very sure it was his own decision.

Although he had walked through the valley of the shadow of death, he knew the Shepherd of Love who carried him in His loving arms. Father had known his Saviour in his last days. The valley of the shadow of death had turned to be his valley of decision as well.

The song that I sang to minister to him one night was most appropriate:

"When Christ shall come with shouts of acclamation,
To take me home, my God,
HOW GREAT THOU ART!"

Life is so full of uncertainties. Today, one is alive. Tomorrow, one is gone. Only one thing is certain in life and will remain unchanged -- God. Father found Jesus, the Shepherd of Love, in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

Chapter Six - The Countdown Begins

CHAPTER SIX



THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS




I knew I was telling a plain lie, but we had to keep him from worrying further about his actual condition. Did he have the right to know that he was going to die? Of course, he did, but who would have guessed, things might have got worse when anxiety took over.


TIME AND TIDE waits for no man. I knew that time was running out for Father. When he was younger, time was what he could afford to waste, but as his life drew closer to an end, it was something that he could not lose even a moment. Every minute counts. I realized the countdown for him had just begun.

In the morning of October 5, I sent him to Tung Shin Hospital for his usual check-up. On seeing his condition, Dr Yap immediately arranged for him to be re-admitted. His skin had dried up by now, due to excessive loss of body fluid as a result of a week-long diarrhoea. He was immediately put on drip.

What happened right after that was like a breeze. His condition grew worse. He could hardly speak. He was always complaining of pain in the head and feeling very dry. Friends and relatives who learnt of his condition made it a point to visit him again.

For a second time, Pastor Law visited Father together with Pastor Timothy on that same afternoon when he was re-admitted. Father later told me that he had assured them that he would visit the church immediately after he got well. I kept silent for a moment, knowing that he wasn’t going to be well again.

“Don’t worry about that. Just get well first, Father,” I said, almost whispering into his ears, as I held his hands tight.


Very Timely Indeed!

By the time Father was re-admitted in hospital, I was already exhausted and was about to fall ill any moment. I had also sprained my back muscles as a result of having to hold him up each time he wanted to get up from the toilet bowl. While he was admitted in Ward 710 for three days, Mother and I had good sleep for three nights to help us regain our stamina.

By Wednesday, October 7, I had recovered fully from my sprained muscles. That evening, Father was moved to Room 823, to give him some privacy staying in the ward. He had to sleep alone.

When asked the next morning, a nurse admitted to us: “He has a lot of requests every one or two hours. It’s difficult looking after him.”

“A dying man with lots of requests!” I thought to myself. “Why should the nurses complain when they know that this is a dying man?”

Mother returned a smile to the nurse as we walked out the lift. She had guessed it correctly that Father was not easy to look after.

“I think I will stay overnight in the hospital to look after him,” I told Mother, as we were walking towards the ward.

“Yes, I am feeling better now myself,” I reassured her. She didn’t say a word, but gave her silent consent.

As we approached Room 823, three brothers from Grace Assembly in Taman Mayang had already spent some time praying for Father. Father was initially hesitant, I was told, to welcome the three strangers – Roy Rajasingham, Benjamin Patrick and Andy Lee – whom I later nicknamed, the three prayer muskeeters of Grace Assembly. Only after they had introduced themselves as my friends, Father relented them to pray for him. A nurse, who happened to be a Christian, also reassured him that they were my friends after finding out more about Roy, Benjamin and Andy.

“Can we pray for you, Uncle?” Roy had asked him.

When Father nodded his head, they prayed for good health and sound sleep at night. For nearly 20 minutes, while they were praying, Father dozed off to sleep until Mother and I arrived at the ward.

God sometimes have a good sense of humour, I thought, as Roy shared with me what had happened while they were praying for him.

“While we were praying, he just bowed down his head. He then started snoring,” Roy told me, with his usual smile. “That’s exactly what we have been praying for – that he would be able to sleep very well.”

Asking To See Grandmother

That evening, my eldest sister Su Lin asked Father: "Do you want to see Uncle Billy?"

He shook his head vehemently. No reason was given, but his answer was very clear.

"Do you want to see Grandmother?" she asked again.

Father nodded his head.

My brother-in-law, Victor, who was on his way to the hospital, was immediately informed. He came over to the hospital to pick Su Lin before rushing over to pick Grandma from Cheras.

Father stared at me blankly and said: "Yap. Yap."

I asked, "Dr Yap?"

He nodded his head. He was referring to Dr Yap, who was attending to his case. He shook both hands and pointed to his chest. He was trying to say, "No more hope?" It was obvious that Father wanted to know the cause of his illness. There was the dilemma again whether to reveal to him his condition. After all, he was already about to go and we all knew it.

I looked straight at Mother. After some discussion with her outside the ward, we decided not to tell him that he had lung cancer. However, in the process, I had actually talked and prepared him with the idea that someday all of us would have to leave this world. Indirectly, I was telling him that he was not going to live very long. But, to tell him that he had lung cancer, would only get him more worried. And, his condition might just get worse as a result.

I returned to the ward and told him, "No, all is well with you. The doctor has not been able to diagnose anything yet."

I knew I was telling a plain lie, but we had to keep him from worrying further about his actual condition. Did he have the right to know that he was going to die? Of course, he did, but who would have guessed, things might have got worse when anxiety took over. I suppose in different situations, the approach would have to be different.

The moment Grandmother walked in, Father wept.

Grandmother had become emotional and started wailing

“Lay Geok,” she called out. “You should outlive me, an old lady. You cannot go so fast.”

Father could not control himself by now. I kept comforting him, while Mother and Su Lin helped to calm Grandmother down.

Knowing that Father had very little time left, I had earlier made it a point to pick Grandmother up to visit him at the hospital. As Grandmother was already nearly 90 years old, I did not tell her the real reasons behind the visit. I only wanted to give her a chance to see Father for a last time.

Midnight Nurse


Soon after Grandmother left, I was alone with Father in the ward. Judging from his condition, I decided to stay overnight in the ward to look after him. The nurses could not have attended to him every minute of the night. It was better to have someone close to him to take care of the minor requests like wetting his dry lips with drops of water.

"You have to be patient. Your suffering is only temporary. Wait for the new body that God promised He would give you," I whispered into his ears. His pains were unbearable by now. He could hardly respond. The room was filled with his groaning of pain.

Pastor Sia of Beautiful Gates visited Father briefly just to pray for him that evening. Father must have felt grateful when I told him that I had borrowed the wheelchair he was using from Pastor Sia's centre for the disabled in SS2, Petaling Jaya.

Pastor Sia herself had come to visit Father in the hospital in her wheelchair. And, her friend who ferried her in a van was also not feeling well. I later told her that she reminded me of Joni Eareckson Tada in the United States, who had begun a ministry to the disabled, shortly after she herself was paralysed from neck down. She took Jesus to be her personal Saviour – and, in the process, found hope to live a fresh new life. The very thought of committing suicide had left Joni after that decision. Today, Joni stands out as a very well-known social worker – one who ministers from her wheelchair – and her wealth of experience allows her to reach out to many souls. Pastor Sia was impressive in her own ways because of the grace of God she experienced in her own life.

When she left, my sister Su Lin dropped by again with the rest of her in-laws. Father did not talk very much, but managed somehow to wave his hand to say "Goodbye" when they were leaving.

Staying overnight in the hospital was not easy. Fortunately, we managed to borrow a lazy chair, which I placed beside Father's bed just to make sure that I could wake up whenever he called. By now, his lips were dry. Every drop of water was like a foretaste of what heaven was like. His diarrhoea problem had resulted in him losing a great deal of body fluid. I remembered the final moments when Jesus was hung on the Cross, He also cried out: "I thirst." I had to keep feeding Father with water and Milo using a straw as he was unable to help himself to a cup.

Although the room was fully airconditioned, yet he was complaining of feeling very hot. He kept saying: "Oh, it's very hot. It's very hot here." The doctor and I suspected that the tumour cells had travelled to the brain. This perhaps explains why the function of the hypothalamus in the brain, which works like a thermostat, had been disrupted, resulting in Father’s inability to regulate his body temperature. I kept wetting his lips and giving him some drops of water to quench his thirst, while humming the songs, "What A Friend We Have In Jesus" and "Shepherd of Love."

Asking To See Family Members


Before I went to bed, I had the strong urge to whisper to him: "Father, I love you." It had been very difficult for me to say those magical words, but I somehow managed.

Although he was not able to respond, I felt that he felt a strong sense of being loved. At his death bed, his son was looking after him.

I woke up the next morning at about 3 o'clock when he called me. "Joe," I heard his voice. I was known by that name at home.

"Saturday?" he asked, wanting to know whether it was Saturday.

"No," I replied.

"Friday?" he queried again.

"Yes, it's Friday. Why?"

"Agnes' wedding," he said, repeating himself, and referring to my cousin's wedding on Friday night.

"Agnes' wedding," he repeated himself.

"Why are you so concerned about Agnes' wedding?" I asked. "Don't worry about the wedding. You have to get well first."

I kept on giving him water to quench his thirst. He was complaining of feeling hot, even though the room was fully-airconditioned and I was already feeling cold. I went over to the nearest window and opened it.

Then, clasping all his five fingers as if to say he wanted to eat, I asked: "You're hungry?" He shook his head, indicating that he was trying to say something else. Desperate that I could not fully understand him, he kept showing his five fingers.

"You mean five o'clock?" I asked.

He nodded his head. By now, it was only 4.35am. I told him, "It's not 5 o'clock yet."

When it was 5 o'clock, I told him: "Yes, it's 5 o'clock right now." He started turning over to his left and called out: "Everyone .... here." With his kind of condition, I immediately interpreted that as his wish to see all his family members before he took his last breath. He seemed to know that he was dying.

I called home.

“Mother, he wants to see all of you right now. Please come over quickly,” I told my mother.

Mother was a little hesitant initially, but she finally rushed over to the hospital with the rest of the family members at about 7am.

Still not understanding why he had said 5 o'clock, I went over to the toilet. I heard him counting out loud: "Five o'clock. Six o'clock. Seven o'clock. I want (to) see morning sun." One could hardly expect to see morning sun at five in the morning, of course, but I later learnt from my niece, Li Lian that her grandfather loved to look at the morning sun. According to Li Lian, he would take a walk in the morning, come back to the house and take a good look at the morning sun.

It was clear to me later that he knew he was dying, but somehow, God gave him a little longer to live in order to do what he wanted to do. He had not said his last words yet to the family. He had also not seen his brothers and sisters.

I went to work as usual at morning. Later, I learnt that Grandmother visited him a third time with other relatives on Friday afternoon. He was already losing his usual vigour by now, according to Grandmother.

Chapter Five - The Objections

Chapter Five






THE OBJECTIONS




I asked: “Father, did you really understand what you had done?” He replied, word by word: “Yes, …Jesus….Saviour….I am converted….Miracle!”



THAT SUNDAY morning, I was worshipping at Praise Baptist Church in Bandar Sri Damansara. Very briefly, I shared about my father's decision to accept Christ and how God had answered my prayers after all these years of praying for all my family members.

Guest speaker for that morning, Pastor Dennis Balan, spoke from a passage of the Scripture: "Fight the good fight of faith." In his opening speech, he mentioned that it had become clear to him why he had prepared that message for the Sunday morning.

"I wasn't quite sure initially why I was preparing this message. Praise the Lord, now I know. Thank you, brother, for your sharing," he said enthusiastically.


Fight the Good Fight of Faith

I knew deep down in my heart that this was going to be a spiritual battle that I was engaging myself in.

“We are not fighting with flesh and blood, but against the powers and the principalities of darkness that operates behind the actions of men,” I thought to myself.

I resolved to fight the good fight of faith. Throughout the period, there were times when I was reminded again and again, the passage from I Timothy 6:12 : "Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses."

When I brought home two deacons from Praise Baptist, Philip Chieng and Dr Lim Poh Ann, Father was still resting at home. Dr Lim asked him about his conditions and gave some medical advice regarding his diarrhoea. Prior to leaving, it was normally their courtesy to ask if they could pray for my father. Father nodded his head in agreement.

Just then, a relative of mine suddenly jumped up from where he was seated and stopped Philip and Dr Lim from praying for Father.

“If you want to pray, please go back to your church to pray. Don’t create any disunity in the family,” he objected.

When I interrupted, the guests decided to leave. Not wanting to create any animosity, they left, but assuring my father and myself that they would continue to remember him in prayer.

An hour later, my Auntie Angeline arrived with a friend of hers, 80-year-old Auntie Liew from Full Gospel Assembly. Auntie Angeline had shared with my father about how God had healed several people, including Auntie Liew. Right after Church, she brought Auntie Liew to personally share with Father about her own experience when facing death. Auntie Liew briefly said to him: "I heard that you have received Jesus as your personal Saviour. Now, you are my brother and I am your sister, you understand?"

Father nodded his head and put on an infectious smile. Saying nothing, he was probably amused by the vibrant character that Auntie Liew was.


Strong Objections

Shortly after that, Auntie Liew began to share her testimony to Mother as well. Springing up from his seat, the same relative started a row again. This time, with Auntie Angeline.

“You should not hit the poor man below the belt,” his accusation had turned into a heated argument.

“We are not forcing him to believe in Christ,” Auntie Angeline replied. “He has to make his own decision. No one can make a decision for him. God will not accept any decisions that are coerced.”

Auntie Angeline explained again that her intention was just to bring Auntie Liew along, as she had promised Father a week ago to show him a living testimony.

Father was in the room while the guests were quarrelling outside.

When I saw that the row was not subsiding, immediately, I had to put a stop to it.

“Please keep silent!” I demanded. “My father is suffering in the room just nearby.”

Realising that the argument would turn sour, Auntie Liew asked to be excused. The last thing Auntie Angeline wanted, as I learnt from her later, was to quarrel. To me, as the son, it was not right for anyone to cause a stir in the family, especially when my father was in the room, suffering in his pain. At the end of the day, like anyone else, he had every right to hear the Gospel for himself for his last time. I was not prepared to tolerate the commotion caused in the midst of the family, now that my father was in pain.

Contrary to the allegations made, Father was in a very sound state of mind. When relatives were talking about my younger sister's courtship, he even interrupted, "Courting for seven years is too long." Although he was on medication, his mind was still very alert and he could still make a decision of his own. Even on the final day when his condition had become very critical, he could still make a decision when we asked him whether he preferred to die at home or at the hospital. There was absolutely no reason for anyone to stop him from hearing the Gospel for his last time. I knew God would take care of that.

On the same evening, I joined Uncle Billy and family, along with my sister, Su Lin, brother-in-law, Victor and their family for dinner at Marco Polo Restaurant in Kuala Lumpur, while Mother was taking care of Father at home. I felt bad that Mother had to take care of him all alone by herself and she was also missing out a lot on her sleep.

Confirming his faith

Wednesday afternoon of September 30, when some friends -- Lai Chin, Lai Kuan and Mrs Mary Choy – visited Father at home again, Sister Lai Chin played him two songs on the piano: "What A Friend We Have In Jesus" and "Amazing Grace." Incidentally, these were also the songs that I used to minister to him, besides the other favourites, "Shepherd of Love" and "O Lord, How Great Thou Art!"

When Lai Chin asked whether his condition had improved, Father was complaining: "I am suffering. Coughing. Still not feeling well. Don't know what's the actual cause."

Reassuring him again, Lai Chin said: "You must pray everyday."

He replied in English: "Yes."

The other sister-in-Christ, Lai Kuan, added: “Mr Ng, God will hear your prayers. You just need to talk to Him.”

"Yes, I do pray whenever I am in pain," Father replied her in Cantonese. There was not a doubt that he really meant what he said. He later held their hands when they prayed for him before leaving the house.

Prayer was what Father needed most during the most difficult moment in his life. It was to God that he knew he had to turn to when there was no one else who could help him.

Father's decision to accept Christ was not only once. As a son, knowing that he did not have very much longer to live, I wanted to make absolutely sure that he had accepted Christ out of his own freewill, and that he understood what he had done on Sunday morning of September 27. I wanted to make sure that he was not just responding to my wishes - else, the decision would not be genuinely his. I kept praying for him, and asked him occasionally whether he really understood the sinner’s prayer. It came to a point that he even scolded me for being "so repetitive."

In the morning of October 1, at around 5 or 6 o'clock in the morning, while he was unable to sleep, I asked: "Father, did you really understand what you had done?"

He replied, word by word : "Yes..... Jesus......Saviour..... I am converted..... Miracle."

Father reassured me that he understood what he had done when he prayed to receive Jesus as his personal Saviour. Even the word "converted" that he used did not exist in my vocabulary. I do not go around “converting” others. I only share the Good News of Jesus Christ with people. It's up to them to believe, and they have to make their own decisions. It’s God who converts and transforms a person. Frankly, I am not on a converting spree. While I only make sure that everyone has the opportunity to hear the Gospel explicitly explained, to believe in Christ is really a personal decision.

Realising that he might be expecting for healing, I told him that same night of October 1: "Father, God has different plans for different people. Some, He heals; others, He gives a completely new body."

"How long?" he moaned. "How l-o-n-g?"

"What you are going through is only temporary. Once it is over, God will give you a new body," I said, trying gradually to prepare him to accept the fact that he might not live very long. I did not want to tell him that he was suffering from lung cancer. Nonetheless, it was important to prepare him to leave this world peacefully.

I read him a passage from 1 Corinthians 16 to assure him of the new body that God would give him:

"All flesh is not the same: Men have one kind of flesh, animals have another, birds another and fish another. There are also heavenly bodies and there are earthly bodies; but the splendour of the heavenly bodies is one kind, and the splendour of the earthly bodies is another. The sun has one kind of splendour, the moon another and the stars another; and star differs from star in splendour.
"So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonour, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body."


The Denial

One Sunday night of October 4, he was suffering from pain all over his body, including his legs. He could hardly sleep. In his anguish, he was murmuring to himself. I overheard him asking about the time in Thailand. "Thailand is two-hours ahead of us?" he asked.

Then, he called out to a deity. I got a little worried, and I asked him why he was calling out to that deity.

Mixed with Hokkien and Malay, he said: "Yeah, Jesus also never tolong (help) me."

His body was aching all over. For the whole night, he was groaning in pain.

"Just trust in Him," I encouraged him.

"I have changed my mind," came his reply.

Realising that this was a spiritual battle that I was engaged in, I stepped aside to pray.
Through the night, I kept praying for nearly two hours to ask the Lord to intervene.

"Lord, please come and minister to him yourself. There's nothing else I can do for him. You may have to appear to him yourself and talk to him. You love him. You have to do something," I prayed.

In my heart, I kept saying: "Lord, I release your power of healing and I bind the power of Satan right now. In Jesus' name."

Father asked to be helped to bed. Just as I laid him down, I sang a few comforting hymns over and over again to minister to him. Two of the favourite songs that I sang were "What A Friend We Have In Jesus" and "Shepherd of Love."

I saw that he was already going to sleep. I continued praying for him at one corner of the room.

Shortly after, he began to talk to himself again.

"Master," I heard him calling.

Curious, I walked over to his bed to listen carefully what he was muttering. As if he was seeing a vision and announcing the arrival of Christ, he said: "Jesus (is) coming!"

A very clear and definite prayer followed on – as simple as the prayer of a child.

"My heart, Jesus, come in," he said.

I kept praying for him, while listening to more things that he was mumbling to himself.

Speaking now in Hokkien, he said: "I don't know whether Jesus will hold my hands for three days?" The word that he used in Hokkien referring to `days’ is quite different from the word that I am familiar with. There are two ways of saying `days’ in Hokkien.

"Yeah, I know, if I fall, I will have stroke and it will take longer for me to heal," he continued talking in his sleep, as if replying to someone in his dream.

By 3am, he slept very peacefully. As I was praying, I opened my eyes several times to see why he had not made any sound at all. He used to be breathing heavily or coughing hard; but this time, there was hardly any sound.

I thought for a moment that he was G-O-N-E!

I stood up and approached him again to check if he was still breathing. I noticed that part of his belly was still moving. He was still breathing normally. When I went to sleep, Mother later told me that she had also woke up just to check why he was sleeping so peacefully that morning. She also noticed that Father was breathing normally but did not even make a sound.

Father had the best sleep ever for two solid hours until 5am. When I woke up, I asked if he was feeling better. "Yes, I feel a lot better today," he replied. "My legs are not that painful anymore, not like last night."

He paused for a while.

"I feel I can walk, but I don't dare to walk," he continued. He made several attempts to walk on his own without the walker. I was the one who kept reminding him that if he fell, it would be even worse for him and the rest of the family. Reminding him of stroke again, I said: "Yeah, you said yourself yesterday that if you fall, you would have stroke."

I had never noticed his swollen legs. It was Mother, who admitted a few days later that Father's legs were no longer swollen compared to the night before. Was it a miracle? It must have been more than a miracle, as I listened to what he had to say later.

He asked Mother: "My medicine. Where's my medicine? Did he take it away?"

Mother asked: "What do you mean by your medicine? Which medicine?"

"And, who do you mean when you said he took away your medicine? Who took away your medicine?" I interrupted.

He refused to answer. The mystery still remains till this day.

Who did Father see in a vision? Did the Lord appear to him in a vision? No one knows, except that I heard him talking in his sleep. His fresh composure the next morning was good enough to tell me that something had taken place the night before when he personally invited Jesus once again into his heart.

It is likely that Father had a vision of Jesus coming to visit him!

Chapter Four - The Valley of Decision

Chapter Four


THE VALLEY OF DECISION


“Jesus…Saviour… I’m converted…Miracle!”
Father reassured me that he understood what he had done when he prayed to receive Jesus as his personal Saviour.



MAKING A DECISION to receive Jesus as his personal Saviour was something that Father had procrastinated for the most part of his life.

“God only helps those who help themselves,” he used to tell us, his children. For him, pleasure came first. Although he seldom had time for religion, God was always there, watching from afar.

His decision came at the eleventh hour of his life – a decision that he had nothing to lose but everything to gain. By God’s grace, it was never a moment too late. He had accepted Christ exactly fourteen days before passing away. Admittedly, not everyone will enjoy the same grace (a few times he had cheated death), but thanks to the prayers of fellow Christian brothers and sisters from a number of churches, God spared his life. They were all praying for his salvation and his general wellbeing.

The breakthrough came when Father noticed how Christians whom he did not know visited and prayed for him. He also saw the meaning of God’s love in a different light. As I reflect back, I am happy that I had been used as an instrument of God to demonstrate His love for Father. Had I not volunteered to look after him, I would have regretted it for a whole lifetime.


Appeal for Help

The support of believers was crucial in times like this, when a family member was facing imminent death.

“As a son, I will go all out to ask for the support of other believers both in prayer as well as sharing with my father the good news,” I told a cousin. “That is my calling and duty.”

With my wide network of contacts, I managed to garner enough prayer support and concern, mainly by communicating via electronic mail and telephone. For that, I was even ostracised, but what was most important for me at that point in time was my father’s salvation. I could not care less what other people had to say.

In my first electronic mail, which I sent out to my relatives, I wrote:

September 15, 1998 (9:18pm) (Tues)
"Dear Cousins/ Uncles
Some of you have been asking how my Dad is. He's generally fine. However, would appreciate some of you to remember him before the Lord as he is recuperating from a month-long cough. The doctors have to put a probe into the lungs again tomorrow morning just to check what the "little black mark" on the lung is all about. Only then can they decide what to do next. He's currently at Tung Shin Hospital.
It's always in my prayers that he should come to know the Lord before it is too late for him. Please continue to pray."

Just one day later, when I learnt about his condition from Dr Yap at Tung Shin, who treated him, I wrote again to my relatives :-

September 16, 1998 (10.30pm) (Wed)
"Dear Cousins/ Uncles
It's confirmed that Dad is diagnosed of having lung cancer as a result of excessive smoking over the years. The doctor who is attending to my father gave him a maximum of six months to live, but his condition appears to be worsening. A friend of mine passed away last year at the age of 51 in a matter of one month or two when he was already in the final stage of his cancer.
We have kept this away from Dad and will keep it a secret until such time when we feel that he has to know about it.
Agnes/Peter, please continue to pray for his salvation. To lose him in this life is a must anyhow, but to lose him forever is a dread!"

Labour of Love

My pastor at Kuala Lumpur Baptist Church, Rev Law Chee Wah paid him a visit at Ward 610B, and shared very briefly from a Gospel booklet, "The Four Facts of God".

I learnt later, that my Auntie Martina (Father’s youngest auntie) made it a top priority to visit him immediately after returning home from Korea. "Jesus loves you," she told him. "He died for you on the Cross." Her immediate concern was to give her brother a chance to know the way of salvation when she visited him in the hospital

The following morning after Auntie Martina’s visit, Auntie Angeline (Father’s sister-in-law) told me that she also visited Father for a second time on her own. Her cell group had prayed for Father’s salvation.

Father was voicing out his frustration after being hospitalised for some long already, without really knowing the cause of his illness.

"The doctor has checked my condition over and over again," he sighed. "Until now, it is still not very clear what is wrong with me.”

Father paused for a moment, as Auntie Angeline comforted him.

“You see, with my current condition, money cannot buy everything. Money cannot even buy life."

"You are right, Lay Geok," answered Auntie Angeline. "Only God can."

She took the trouble to share the testimony of a few cases of people who were healed of their sicknesses. She wanted to impart hope, although knowing that he had cancer of the lungs.

· Dr Peter Thong - who was healed of lung cancer. There were no symptoms at all, but, Dr Thong felt a strong urge to carry out an X-ray on his lungs. He was operated upon at an early stage before the cancer spread further.
· Dr Koh Eng Kiat - who was healed of prostate cancer. There was no operation, but he simply took medication and continued to believe in God's healing. When he returned to the hospital for another check up, the doctors found no trace of cancer anymore.
· Auntie Liew - an eighty-year-old lady who was very ill with kidney failure in 1984, when an American evangelist, Scott McKinney prayed for her. The Lord healed her. A repeat medical checkup confirmed that she had been completely healed. She was able to live on without having to go for dialysis for the last 15 years.


Before leaving the ward, Auntie Angeline pulled out two booklets from her handbag. One was a booklet, "More Than Gold" which was produced for the Commonwealth Games. The other, a simple pictorial booklet, "Gospel Bridge", published by the Bible Society of Singapore.

Father told her: "I have got the bigger book already. I want the smaller one."

Auntie Angeline stopped after reading the first page of the booklet "Gospel Bridge" about The One True God.

"It's okay," Father assured Auntie Angeline. "I can read myself later."

The Gospel Bridge booklet was folded very nicely on page 29, where it referred to the `Old Man' and `New Man'. No one knows whether Father had read until that page, but it was obvious that someone must have folded it there.

As I refer back to the booklet, it appeared that he had come to the stage of understanding why Christ had died on the Cross, His glorious resurrection, and about our need for salvation. He somehow stopped short of praying to receive Christ as his personal Saviour.

God continued to prompt him further. Three other sisters-in-Christ from Grace Church Kepong and Kuala Lumpur Baptist visited him at the hospital. Mrs Mary Choy, Lai Kuan and an old lady of 89-year-old, whom we called "Koo-por" (Gracious Old Lady) also visited Father together with me one evening.

Lai Kuan shared her own testimony – how God had miraculously helped her in her crisis.

“I was working as a guest relations at a pub,” she related her own life experience. “My face has been marred by some very unscrupulous people. Life to me was meaningless. I even wanted to commit suicide at one stage. That was the time when I found Christ. He has made the difference in my life.”

Father was lying down, resting as he listened to Lai Kuan’s testimony. I noticed that he was not serious with what he heard. Occasionally, he just nodded his head, half-agreeing with what he heard.

Lai Kuan went on to explain the Gospel. “We have all sinned against God. God's love, however, was demonstrated when Jesus Christ, His only begotten Son, was crucified on the cross for our sins. The good news is that He was raised from the dead, our hope for eternal life in heaven.”

Father objected: “I have not committed any crime.”

“Sin is not only about the wrong things that we do, but the very nature that we inherited from our forefathers, tracing back to the first parents, Adam and Eve, who disobeyed God. Sin is disobedience to God and His laws. We are estranged from His presence because of our sins,” explained Mary.

Koo Por interrupted: “Mr Ng, I have personally believed in Jesus many years now. I am 89, and I can testify that God has been really good to me.”

Incessant Prayers

Two days later, I wrote again to my relatives:-

September 19, 1998 (7:51 pm) (Sat)
"We have listened to the diagnosis by the doctor, Dr Yap Boon Hung, of Tung Shin Hospital:-

(1) Again, the diagnosis is clear: The "black marks" on the lungs are clearly lung cancer. It is not only one black spot, but "diffused" throughout both the left and right lungs. This is obvious on the CAT scan.
(2) It is not possible to operate on Dad. His heart is still "weak", according to the doctor.
(3) It is not possible to carry out any radiotherapy (irradiation) to burn off the affected area, as the cancer is too widespread.
(4) The doctor gave him between one month to a year to live)
(5) On coming Monday, the doctor hopes to carry out bronchoscopy to test out the lung tissues (to confirm his diagnosis). At present, looking from the scan, he's already 80 per cent confident that it is lung cancer.
(6) The doctor will resort to prescribe TB medication first, since he was also tested positive for TB.
(7) Given the condition of his heart, it is either the lungs or the heart that will give way first.

This is the latest on Dad's condition. We do not plan to let him know his condition yet, until such time when he is ready for it. That will have to be done with everyone in the family around with him, plus some close relatives. Uncle Billy has agreed to be around to talk to him as well. My only desire at this point in time is to help him see what lies ahead of him, beyond this life. I cannot bear the thought of losing him.

Ultimately, it will be a decision that he has to make himself, even at the very last minute."

I followed up with another electronic mail to some brothers and sisters in Christ whom I knew would pray along with me: -

September 20, 1998 (8.16am) (Sun)

"Please pray for my Dad's salvation.

The doctors have diagnosed lung cancer, which means that he will live between one to six months, and at most, one year. Meanwhile, he also has a weak heart.

I've been praying for the last 18 years for his salvation...practically every night, without fail.

Would you also join me in your prayers as well to pray for his salvation?

Ng Lay Geok
Age: 66
Currently, being warded at Tung Shin Hospital.

Thanks,
Stephen."

My Christian brothers and sisters, who replied, expressed their concerns and assured me of their prayer support. It was encouraging to learn later that there were many churches that were upholding my father in prayer. On Father's funeral day, I was personally very touched to learn from a dear cousin, Tan Kar Seng, who told me that his church had also upheld Father in prayer.

As far as I know, both individuals and prayer cells were remembering him in their prayers. Auntie Martina said her prayer cell had been praying for my father. So, did my Auntie Angeline, whose cell group in her house had also remembered Father in prayer.

The Decision

On Saturday night of September 26, I felt the Lord directing me to lead my father in the sinner's prayer. I felt strongly that Father was waiting for me to make that invitation. He had heard the Gospel several times already by now. It was really now up to him whether he wanted to make a decision for Christ or not. As his son, it was only appropriate for me to lead him in the sinner's prayer instead of an outsider! I knew it was both my privilege and responsibility to ensure that Father prayed to receive Christ as his personal Saviour.

Mother had earlier asked me to look after him on Sunday morning of September 27, as she was planning to go to the market with my sister, Su Li.

I had one hour of undistracted privacy with my father alone that morning before going to Church. I made the invitation: "Father, you have already heard the Gospel a number of times already. Have you decided to accept Jesus as your personal Saviour?"

I sensed that he was again postponing his decision. I repeated my invitation: "Perhaps, you want to consider this again. If you want to accept Jesus as your Saviour, you can follow me in prayer."

He extended both hands while bending over towards me. I held his hands, closed my eyes, and started to lead him in prayer. It was a pretty long prayer. At certain point, especially when I thanked Jesus for dying on the cross for our sins, Father paused for quite a while before repeating after me. Finally, he said after me, “Amen.” I looked up to see his face.

"How do you feel inside you? Do you have peace in your heart, right now?" I asked. There was a little nod, but no words were uttered. By now, he was already in pain.

Chapter Three - His Lifestory

Chapter Three


HIS LIFESTORY

Often spending his nights out at joget outlets until past midnight, he used to drink and smoked heavily. Although he was earning a big salary in those days, he would spend most of his money on pleasures.



SEPTEMBER 15, 1932 – A baby boy was born into the family of the late Mr Ng Han Ti, a well-respected chief administrator at the Seremban General Hospital. He was the second son in the family, where the thirteen siblings – seven sons and six daughters – lived in a bungalow in Jalan Tampin, while their father, Han Ti, stayed at the government quarters near to the Seremban Lake Gardens.

Han Ti, my grandfather, a government servant with a heart for the people of Seremban, passed away in 1963. He was a respected person, who would sit around with the common people in the old marketplace in Seremban town, despite his rank in the government service.

Till today, his peers still have high regards for him. “Your grandfather was a very humble man and always willing to offer help any time,” one of them told me. Stories abound about how he was faithful whether rain or shine to cycle to the nearest bank to withdraw salaries for his staff. He, however, died at an early age. My grandmother, Tang Nang, survived him some 30 years later.

The baby boy that was born to the family, who later became my father was named Lay Geok. As Father was difficult to look after, the family decided that he was to be given away to Lau Char, who married Tang Nang’s brother. Lau Char had been widowed from young but adopted several children from her relatives. They were living in Cheras, where my father lived in his early childhood days. Nevertheless, the family name of Ng was still retained. Lau Char, who adopted Father as a son, did not change his name to Tan. Nevertheless, I still regard this adopted mother of his as my Cheras Grandmother, to distinguish her from my Seremban Grandmother who had passed away several years ago. She is the grandmother I refer to in this book.

A Problem Child

Grandmother used to tell us stories about Father when he was a young boy. In those days, she would carry him in one arm and fetch water from the well in another.

“As a boy, your father used to go out fishing and return home very late,” she said. “I have never caned him once. Whenever I scolded him, he would sometimes refuse to return home. It was very difficult looking after him.”

As he grew older, Lau Char could no longer handle him. Both parents in Cheras and Seremban finally came to a compromise. He was to return back to Seremban, where he would attend school at King George V.

“Being a young man, he was notoriously known as an ardent fan of “joget” (an upbeat, somewhat disco-like Malay dance). Often spending his nights out at joget outlets until past midnight, he used to drink and smoked heavily,” said Grandmother, Lau Char. “Although he was earning a big salary in those days, he would spend most of his money on pleasures. There was hardly any money left at the end of the month.”

“It’s time for you to settle down,” his parents in Seremban urged him. They had arranged for him to meet a young lady from Kuala Pilah. So, on Christmas Day, 1955, both Ng Lay Geok and my mother, Lee Yoke Siew tied the knots.

The New Family

After several years in Seremban, the young couple decided to move down to Kuala Lumpur. Their first daughter – my eldest sister, Ng Su Lin – was born in February 1958. A year later, my second sister, Susie was also born. Being the only son, I came into the picture only five years later. My youngest sister, Su Li was born much later. Between Su Li and I, we are nearly eleven years apart.

Father loved all his children. I recall how he practically put me behind the wheels on his laps to go for a drive before going to work every morning. Working as a timber grader, Father earned enough to look after this family. And, I remember we always had enough of everything we wanted. I had nearly all sorts of toys a child could have in those days.

However, one regrettable memory I have of him is the fact that, besides having to be away from home most of the time as he was working in Pahang, he also had the habit of getting drunk practically every time he went out with his colleagues. Sometimes, I would follow him. My little mission in those days was to get him to drink and smoke less. Each time, I would give him a reminder: “Father, please, do not order another drink again.”

I learnt to be persistent at that to ensure that he would end his drinking session. They were not always successful attempts to get him to stop his booze – but it has successfully created in me a life-long resistance to drink and smoke.



His Religious Background

Father was never a very religious person. In the family, I was the most pious child, who would pray to the goddess of mercy at least three times a day without fail. Although he would sometimes follow the family to the temple, Father seldom joined in the temple rites. He was much of a free-thinker, who only wanted to enjoy life to the fullest.

When I became a Christian, he did not object. His very own father, I learnt later, was a secret believer, who faithfully attended a Methodist Church in Seremban. Before he died, Ng Han Ti had called out in a last breath: “God, save my family.” This had never made a strong impact on my father for nearly 30 years after my grandfather passed away. Although I used to invite Father to church, he had only obliged once, but there was little sign of interest in spiritual matters.

There were times, however, when he agreed he would come to church with me. But, when the next morning came to attend Sunday service, he would change his mind. There was at least one such incident that I can recall.

“How come you’re not going to church today?” he asked me one Sunday morning.

“I’m about to go,” I replied. “Do you want to come along?”

“Yes,” he said.

Later, he changed his mind, and going straight into his morning papers, he said: “You go ahead first.”

Father never made any serious commitment for the most part of his life.





Sour Relationship


Through the years, I had been praying that perhaps someday he would come to know Jesus as his personal Saviour. I tried to remain a good son, despite the number of family turmoils that we had to go through due to some misunderstandings arising from within the family.

In later years, there were some quarrels between Father and I, and our relationship had turned sour. Deep in my heart, I felt very hurt by the discrimination I faced in the family.

Nevertheless, I knew I had to forgive him. He was still my father. I still loved him. At least, I should say, I knew the inescapable command from God to children to honour their father and mother. At times, it was hard to imagine how any relationship could work out for us; however, with God, all things are possible. God brought the family together and through His grace, Father’s decision even at the end of his life was a wise one.

Chapter Two - To Tell or Not To Tell

Chapter Two


To Tell or Not to Tell


… better to let him know while he is still relatively strong, than at a later stage when he is expected to get worse.


WE WERE IN a dilemma. It was, as someone said, easy to suggest that a patient should always be told of his condition, but it was difficult for those who were taking care of him if the knowledge of imminent death created more anxiety. After much deliberation, the family finally arrived at one conclusion: we would have to tell him soon that his time was running out. He was dying of lung cancer.
“I think you all have to tell him anyhow,” my Uncle Billy advised, as we walked into the lift about to leave the hospital that evening after listening to the doctor’s explanation. “It is better to let him know while he is still relatively strong, than at a later stage when he is expected to get worse.”
I agreed, but said that the whole family should be together with him, when we decided to break the news. At least we could join our efforts to relieve his anxiety of facing death.
The doctor cooperated very well with the family members, in keeping the news from him. He just told Father that he had contracted tuberculosis and would prescribe him TB medication for two weeks before discharging him on September 23, exactly ten days later.

His Condition Got Worse
The ten days that he spent in the hospital were the greatest torture for him. He simply hated being hospitalised. He admitted, however, that he was a lot better than when he was first admitted. Having been given adequate medical treatment, including using the nebuliser, his condition had improved.
The real suffering only began the day after he was discharged. He had diarrhoea and started vomiting as well. According to Mother, he had to relieve himself nearly four or five times throughout the night. I began to feel very concerned about his condition.
Even when I returned to my own home, leaving behind my mother to take care of Father, I was unable to sleep. On my bed, I kept pondering over the thought that Father was going to go in just six months. And, he had not been saved yet. Besides, Mother needed someone to help take care of him. Neither she nor my younger sister had the strength to help him to the toilet.
That night, he woke up nearly every hour. Sometimes, he was able to pass motion, but at other times, he only complained of stomach upset. Fortunately, he was able to walk on his own, except for a little help to walk him to the toilet.
His condition began to worsen as time passed. As he was not eating well, his legs were beginning to grow weaker until he was unable to walk properly. By the time Uncle Billy and family arrived on Saturday evening of September 26, Father was already very weak and needed a walker. By Sunday, September 27, his condition had deteriorated to the extent that he was beginning to show signs of tiredness.
The following day, I bought a walker from Guardian Pharmacy to help Father, as his legs were growing weaker. A few days later, I had to borrow a wheelchair from Pastor Sia Siew Chin of Beautiful Gates. It was a very timely help as we were already spending a lot on his medical bills. We knew that he only needed a wheelchair for a short span of time. To borrow one was the best option.
I made an offer to Mother: "Should you need my help at any time to stay overnight, please let me know.”
Mother did not hesitate a moment. "You want to stay overnight, right. Maybe, you can start tonight," she suggested, feeling relieved that at least someone had offered to help. She must have gladly welcomed the thought that I was offering myself to take care of Father.
That night, Mother and I put our efforts together to care for him and walked him slowly to the toilet. He was frequently saying that he had stomach upset. Apparently, he was having diarrhoea. Thick watery motion was discharged each time he went to the toilet. I could hardly have any sleep myself.
“I think we should take turns round the clock to look after him. Both of us should not wear ourselves down by keeping on vigil all the time,” I told Mother on the third day.
By this time, my youngest sister, Su Li was also helping out. Father was too heavy for them, each time he needed their help in the toilet. As his legs were not improving, he could hardly stand unsupported for more than five minutes in order to put on his trousers.
Mother suspected that the doctor's medication could have caused the diarrhoea. I decided to consult Dr Yap over the phone.
“Normally TB medication would not cause diarrhoea,” he assured me. “However, if you feel that the medication could have contributed to the diarrhoea, you may stop it for three days just to see if there is going to be any improvement.”
We never suspected cancer of the colon. To have lung cancer was bad enough! It turned out that Father was probably also suffering from colon cancer.
I managed to get some Lomotil tablets to temporarily control his diarrhoea. Taking the pills helped a little, but there was no significant improvement at all. Each day and night, he visited the toilet at least eight times, much to the exasperation of my mother and myself.
It was harder for Mother as she had to take care of Father at night and at the same time, doing all the household chores in the daytime. I believe the little help I could offer to look after Father at night could only relieve her a little. But not much, as she was unable to sleep on most nights. She loved the man she had married for nearly 43 years. She could not bear the thought of abandoning him to his pains.
For the rest of the days before he passed away, my days were revolving around work in the daytime and taking care of Father at night. His ordeal lasted for nearly two months before he passed away. In the final two weeks that I was looking after him, I learnt that there is power in touch. My love and appreciation for him as a son grew as a result of the time spent with him. He leaves behind a legacy that we, his children, will all learn to cherish.
The man, whose main objective in life was to go after the pleasures of the world, finally found the Shepherd of love at a crucial turning point in his life.